Flagship
2026 Crypto Investor Starter Pack
Includes conviction posts, exit liquidity energy, and an emergency workforce re-entry kit.
2026 cursed universe edition
STARTER PACK
Everything you need to start failing successfully.
Born from the legendary 2026 Crypto Investor Starter Pack. Now it’s your turn.
Featured Pack
The One That Started It All
Four artifacts. One broken timeline. Infinite bad decisions. This is the original cursed loadout that launched a thousand quote tweets and at least three emergency career pivots.
The Rope
The timeless icon of overconfidence meeting the market head-on.
Coping Mechanism
For when your portfolio says “long term” but your nervous system says “right now.”
Plan B
When “freedom soon” turns into “can you work weekends and close?”
Daily Vitamins
Not medical advice. Absolutely not portfolio advice either.
The Vault
Starter Packs For Every Personal Collapse
Filter the archive of bad omens, coping tools, and backup plans. Each pack was carefully assembled by the council of people who said “this will definitely bounce.”
Emotional Damage
Failed Relationship Starter Pack
Late-night playlists, unread paragraphs, and one beverage that suddenly qualifies as a personality.
Annual Ritual
New Year’s Resolution Starter Pack
Fresh notebook, irrational optimism, and a suspiciously short path from discipline to despair.
Power User
Reddit Mod Starter Pack
Four monitors, infinite tabs, and the unstoppable confidence of a person who owns exactly one subreddit rulebook.
Productivity Arc
Burnout Starter Pack
Calendar chaos, fake urgency, and a sacred promise to “rest after this week” repeated for twelve months.
McApp Generator
Create Your Backup Plan In Real Time
For the investor who said “I’m early” and accidentally meant “to the hiring kiosk.” Fill out the form, randomize the lore, and export your very own return-to-work arc.
Application For
McDegen Employment
STARTER PACK
Applicant Name
Exit Liquidity Jr.
Position Applying For
Night Shift Fry Oracle
Previous Employment
Crypto degen / leverage enthusiast
Reason For Leaving
Rug pull, spiritually speaking
Daily Vitamins
White pills and worse ideas
Coping Mechanism
Warm whiskey and refreshing delusion
Why Should We Hire You?
I can handle pressure, public humiliation, and machines that beep at me without taking it personally.
Status: emotionally available for minimum wage
Pack Certified
About / The Lore
It Started With One Tweet...
One post. Four images. Zero survivors. Somewhere in the great content furnace of 2026, a cursed collage escaped into the timeline and immediately became the official onboarding kit for people who said “alt season is guaranteed.”
The rope became shorthand for consequences. The drink became the mood board. The McDonald’s application became the contingency plan. The pills became the visual metaphor for “I’m actually chilling,” typed by somebody who was visibly not chilling.
STARTER PACK turns that meme into a full universe: a vault of collapse-themed loadouts, a backup-plan generator, and a community for the deeply unserious people taking unserious losses very seriously. It is satire, self-owning, and fully committed to the bit.